| Romantic Ideas
1.make every dinner special lite candles use the "special occasion "glasses
2.Make dinner together
3. Have cuddle time together whether watching tv or whatever you prefer .
4.Have a specific time set out to sit down and talk about each others day and go over the plans for the week .
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Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help
you pay the small attentions that are so integral to lasting intimacy.
Day One:
Spend 15 minutes kissing. Many married couples report that the simple
act of kissing is the first part of intimacy to disappear. Today,
recapture the power of the smooch.
Day Two:
Today, declare a personal moratorium on criticism. Pay attention to
the number of negative thoughts you have about the actions of your
spouse. How critical are you? How does being critical make you feel?
Even when we don't give voice to our criticism, it drains our energy
and keeps us focused on negative thoughts.
Day Three:
Call, email, or write your mother-in-law (or send a simple bouquet
of flowers). Let her know how grateful you are for her child.
Day Four:
Spoon.
Day Five:
Reflect on your first date with your mate, writing down as many
details as you can remember. Now make plans to recreate it.
Day Six:
Spend tonight in your guest room. Pretend that you and your spouse
are on a romantic vacation in a distant port.
Day Seven:
What's your spouse's favorite cookie? Bake a batch.
Day Eight:
Tape-record a love message--sexy or sentimental--on a cassette
tape. Put it in your spouse's car with a Post-it note that
says "Play Me."
Day Nine:
Declare today a Forgiveness Day. Are you holding a grudge,
however deep, about something your mate has done or said?
Get to the bottom of it today. Then work on letting it go.
Day Ten:
Assess your listening skills with your spouse. Just for today,
slow down and try not to interrupt.
Day Eleven:
Write a note and stash it where you know your spouse will
find it some time throughout the day. This can be as simple
as a lipstick kiss on a folded napkin or as elaborate as an
original poem. (For a special touch, fold a Hershey's kiss inside.)
Day Twelve:
Leave a sexy voice message on your mate's voicemail.
Day Thirteen:
Trying to control your spouse can lead to feelings of
resentment and disempowerment. Today, reflect on situations
that make you want to control or manipulate. Then work
on letting go.
Day Thirteen
List all the reasons you love your mate. For 15 minutes,
just let your pen move. Don't stop to think too hard
about the task. Just write. Then present your list.
Day Fourteen:
Ask the kids to write down a few of the things they love
about your parenting partner. Encourage them to be as
specific as possible. Write them down on slips of paper,
put them in an envelope and place it on your spouse's
dashboard for a heartwarming surprise.
Now spend some time creating your own 15-minute romantic
gifts for one another.
Copyright 2004 Susie Michelle Cortright
About the Author:
Susie Michelle Cortright is the author of Rekindling Your Romance
after Kids and founder of Momscape.com, where busy moms find
balance. Visit today for her free-course-by-email "Six Days to
Less Stress" as well as special offers on affordable luxuries and
tips to help you be the best mom you can be:
http://www.momscape.com
Valentine's Day On A Dime
by Tawra Kellam
http://www.livingonadime.com/
Using a little imagination, you can make your Valentine's day a little more fun and a lot less expensive. If you want to add a little personalized romance or if you don't have the time or money to buy all the pre-made things in the store, here are some ideas from http://www.livingonadime.com/ to help you make the day special.
For the Kids:
My mom always made a great but inexpensive Valentine's Day treat for us. She would take construction paper and cut a big heart out of it. (About 8x10 inches) then she would staple the edges together and write our names and an I love you on the outside. Then she would fill the heart with candy, purchased on clearance after Christmas. It was very inexpensive but we loved it!
Do a Valentine's treasure hunt. Leave little notes around with the last one leading back to the kitchen table with heart full of candy.
For Lunches: Make heart shaped Valentine's cookies, cut the kids (or hubby's) sandwiches with a heart shaped cookie cutter to make a heart sandwich. Add a few Valentine's chocolates and put a note in red with a big heart on their napkin.
Serve anything red for the day. Serve red Jell-o, red pudding, red apples, toast with strawberry jelly, tomato soup, red applesauce, red Kool-aid, strawberry milk, or red frosted cookies. Use powered food coloring from the cake store to get the deepest shade of red. Leave sticks of red gum in their Valentine's Day cards.
Make red heart shaped cupcakes. Make cupcakes as usual but place a marble down the side of the muffin tin between the muffin tin and each cupcake cup. This will make heart shaped cupcakes.
Make hearts out of chocolate chips in each of your pancakes.
Mail your pre-addressed and stamped Valentines to Loveland, Colorado and they will postmark them and mail them for you. Send them to: Postmaster, Attn: Valentines, Loveland, CO 80537
Make a tresure hunt for your spouse. Start by mailing or e-mailing him the first clue. Then leave clues all over the house, yard, car or his office telling him where to find the next clue. End the hunt by making a picnic in the back yard or going to a park for a picnic. Use your imagination and have fun. The simple things are the ones people remember.
Things to do with or for your honey:
Go to a bookstore and enjoy the silence and browse. Get a cup of coffee and make a date of it.
Celebrate Valentine's day AFTER Valentine's day. Everything is half off.
Mail a love letter to your hubby's work.
Send your spouse a sexy email message.
Leave "Why I love you" message all over the house. Buy a package of the cheap Valentines. Leave a message on each one and hide them all over the house for your honey. They will get to enjoy the gift for months!
Use lipstick to make hearts and love notes on the rear view mirror, car windows, bathroom mirror or windows of the house. Leave a kiss on his napkin for lunch or dinner.
Make a bunch of hearts out of construction paper. Put a love note on each one. Paste them all over the front door or car before your hubby or kids come home from work.
If you don't have money to go out, have a picnic on the floor. Use some candles and lay a soft blanket on the floor. Put on some soft music and have a romantic Valentine's dinner on the floor. Use some white Christmas lights for additional romantic lighting!
Tawra Kellam is the author of the frugal cookbook Not Just Beans: 50 Years of Frugal Family Favorites. Not Just Beans is a frugal cookbook which has over 540 recipes and 400 tips. For more free tips and recipes visit her web site at http://www.livingonadime.com/
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What is it about St Valentine's Day that makes lovers want to throw secrecy and discretion to the wind and declare to the world, via the national press or even worse, the internet, that "Scrumptious Wumptious Pudding Pie adores Squidgy Widgy Bum? I mean, if you really care for someone, you shouldn't have to wait until 14 February each year to convey your feelings, either in this bizarre manner, or by rushing out and buying a padded heart cushion in sugar-pink polyester, with lace trim and "I Luv U" printed on the front, should you?
Nevertheless, despite the cringe factor of many of these declarations of undying love and unrestrained passion, they are a sign that these people are happily attached, or at least in lust.
I have always considered Valentine's Day to be one of the most emotionally painful days in the year for those who are not romantically involved in one way or another. It is like pouring acid onto a raw wound. Ouch! It feels as though you are under a spotlight, with the rest of the world scoffing at you and saying, ""Nah-na-na-nah-nah! We're having sex and you're not. We might be terminally obnoxious, but at least somebody loves us. Tra-la-la!"
Mind you, there will always be some allegedly "single and loving it" people out there who may regard people such as myself as needy and insecure and who reach for the bucket when they read other lovey-dovey couples' public, smoochy woochy messages.
When I was a single parent, I assumed that the only time I would receive a Valentine's Card would be if I sent one to myself. It used to be the one morning in the year when I was begging the postman to deliver bills or junk mail, just so that he would be seen delivering something (anything - please!) to my door, should any of the neighbours be peeking from behind their drapes at the time. For the postman to bypass my house on Valentine's Day was one of the most shameful experiences ever.
When I was unhappily married, I do confess to having sent a card to myself one year, in a sad and vain attempt to arouse a spark of jealousy in my indifferent, asexual ex-husband. Naturally, it didn't achieve the desired response. In fact, judging by his lopsided sneer, I think he was secretly pleased, because if it meant that I was having an affair, that would leave him free to continue selfishly servicing his own needs; such as sitting glued to the TV and not having to engage in superficial conversation.
However, being a caring, sharing kind of woman, I always presented my ex-husband with a classy Valentine's gift, such as a supermarket's own brand 2" circumference ceramic pig, clutching a gold-wrapped sweetie, which tasted like cooking chocolate. More than generous, I thought, particularly since I was forced to produce a receipt for everything that I bought, so that my magnanimous ex could tally his outgoings at the end of each week. In other words, what was mine was his and what was his was his.
The evenings were the worst part of the day. Not only had the second postal delivery been and gone, together with my final chances of receiving a declaration of everlasting love, but also I knew that all the still-in-love, attached couples in the world would be planning their candlelit dinner à deux at some fancy French restaurant. Naturally, this wouldn't be just any romantic meal, but one during the course of which an engagement or eternity ring would be presented, together with a pair of flight tickets to an impossibly romantic European city.
All this after a day of running around meadows in slow motion, dressed in flimsy, transparent outfits, or floating down a sunlit river in a rowing boat, whilst sipping champagne. Yes, yes, I know that this is England and the temperature is inevitably sub-zero, meaning only an idiot would venture out wearing anything less than thermals and a 50 tog jacket in case their extremities dropped off (what a shame), but when you are unattached, rationality doesn't enter the equation.
The other depressing factor, when I was still legally attached to my abovementioned ex, was that it meant that I was unlikely to receive any cards from secret admirers, on the assumption that because I was married, I was definitely a no-go area. In reality, I was, for all intents and purposes, young, free and very much single. I wanted to run around town with a large sign attached to me saying, "I'm available. The ring on the third finger of my left hand is just pretend. This is just a practice relationship"
Of course, on the years when the postman delivered zilch, I consoled myself by thinking that the only reason I hadn't received any cards was because my secret admirer(s) didn't know my address. Well, you have to have a positive outlook don't you?
Tradition states that you are not supposed to reveal your identity on any Valentine's card that you send. Huh! Forget that! If I have spent a small fortune on an overpriced bit of card with a sloppy rhyme on it, I want the object of my desire to know how much I value them. Besides, what is the point of keeping your true identity a secret and denying yourself the opportunity of a potentially satisfying liaison with the person of your dreams?
I have received several anonymous cards in the past and, to this day, I do not know whom most of them were from. I found this intensely frustrating at the time, particularly when I was single, available and pining for love and romance. What a missed opportunity on the part of my clandestine admirer; passing up the chance of a romantic encounter with this witty, charming and intelligent blonde who has a chest that could double as ear muffs!
I am happy to say that since finding my knight in shining armour, I no longer view Valentine's Day with dread. I know that I am guaranteed a cute card with a Forever Friends' bear on the front, a bunch of flowers that last at least a week and a box of deliciously, mood-enhancing chocolates, that last a mere five minutes.
I can proudly walk down the street with a genuine smile on my face, not one of those forced, coathanger grins that I used to sport many years ago, to convey the impression that the postman had suffered back strain delivering the sack of Valentine's cards to my door.
However, irrespective of how much my partner and I love each other, there's no way that we would admit to anyone that Spongy Belly loves Sweet Cheeks…
AUTO Content - The RoMANtic
How to Put Some Electricity in Your Romance for Valentine's
by Susan Dunn
Send Feedback to Susan Dunn
More Details at: http://www.susandunn.cc
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Expert Tidbit
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Want to get the sparks flying again? Well, here’s your first shock … you’re going to Duluth, Minnesota.
Yes, there’s snow. Yes, it’s cold. Today in fact, it’s 30 below, fresh snow falling, clear skies, and windchill of 55 below. Brrr If I were up there I’d want to bundle more than firewood and that’s out point. Get ready to jumpstart your romance in the land where the magnetic field causes ships’ compasses to malfunction, and colors to dance in the sky, and where things are, well, just wired differently. Snap, crackle, pop!
Situated on Lake Superior, the largest of the Great Lakes, Duluth, its most active port hosts over 1,000 vessels a year carrying 40 million metric tons of cargo.
Lake Superior is impassable from January to March, or “when the gales of November come early,” whichever comes first. [More later]
Plan to drive up there from Minneapolis-St. Paul at dark and that thing you see frozen like a deer in the headlights might be a wolf. You’re in the heart of wild wolf country! Moonlight, cold, a howl … a bit Dr. Zhivagoish, and guaranteed to charge up the AC/DC. Your chance to be the hero, your chance to cling … your choice.
(It’s no joke. I went to school up there. Dress warmly, carry blankets in the car and a kit in the trunk. Google this – “cold weather car survival kit”.) If mushing, etc. here’s a list of clothing for this climeate.
SPARKING
The first thing you’ll notice as you enter Duluth, besides the spectacular Aerial Lift Bridge, is the magnetic pull of Lake Superior, the biggest fresh water lake in the world.
You can feel the electricity. You’re near the iron range. There’s a spark in the air and our great-grandparents didn’t call it “sparking” for nothing.
Try Bluefin Bay for lodging - voted “best romantic resort” and “most romantic resort in Minnesota”. With room overlooking Lake, your own fireplace and private Jacuzzi, you’ll be sticking together like two pairs of nylons shorts with static cling. (February has a 4 for 3 special)
Nearby you can take a Mushing Day Trip, driving your own team of Huskies. They greet you with a heated wall tent, and when you return from the trail, there’s hot chocolate and cookies. Take a comfy, cozy sleigh ride tucked in the sled, inside cushioned sled bags with sleeping bags. IN THE MOONLIGHT! Photo ops available. And remember, “If you’re not the lead dog, you can be kissin’ on your honey!”
FYI, three miles inland, “the lake effect,” means better and bigger snow!
WARM IT UP
Back in Duluth Valentine’s Day there’s an Adults Only Program at the Lake Superior Zoo, 3-4:30 p.m. Then grab a bite to eat at the 100-year-old Fitger’s Brewhouse & Grille, where the people are congenial, glad to be inside, warm, and in company.
That evening catch the Duluth-Superior Symphony’s “Evening with Natalie Mac Master,” international fiddle superstar, and then take in the touring production of “The Music Man,” Sunday night the 15th.
For more Valentine’s events, go here.
SOMETHING MORE ON THE WILD SIDE?
Visit the International Wolf Center in Ely, 110 miles from Duluth. Come Feb. 27-29 and do the “Mush with Dogs, Howl with Wolves!". $295 includes meals and lodging, and above, plus you can snowshoe in nearby Superior National Forest.
GROPING IN THE DARK?
Check out Split Rock Lighthouse, in Two Harbors, representative of many in the area necessary because compasses don’t work. In February you have to call and schedule a tour but if you’re lucky, like we were, you’ll arrive as they pull a tray of fresh-baked cookies from the oven.
HEALTHY OUT DOOR ACTIVITY?
Snowflake Nordic features a 400 meter speed skating oval, plus rentals, chalet and trails for cross-country skiing. Instruction available.
BACK INSIDE
And don’t miss the Maritime Museums with the story of all the shipwrecks, the most famous of which is the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, immortalized by Gordon Lightfoot.
Most people don’t know the story is true. Those who do, think it happened years ago, but it was in 1976. Treacherous water. Ooo hold me tight.
THE EDMUND FITZGERALD
The largest freighter on the Great Lakes The Edmund Fitzgerald (EF) headed out of Duluth November 9, 1975 with 26,000 tons of taconite and Captain McSorley at the helm.
Trying to make one last run for the season was a tragic decision.
Gale force winds at 45 knots with waves 30’ high sank the ship and you’ll see photos of her in the museums, cracked in two at the bottom of the Lake like a match stick.
All 29 men perished and true to the ballad (“Superior,” they said, “never gives up her dead when the gales of November come early.”), the bodies have never been found. The water is too deep and too cold to allow decomposition or forming of gases, so the bodies do not rise to the surface.
ENCORE
Next on the agenda, the northern lights (aurora borealis). Around Duluth, 20% chance any night. Farther north around International Falls, on Highway 11, (Waters of the Dancing Sky), those activity charged particles thrown out into space during peak sunspot activity (Pop! Sizzle! Bang!) dance in the solar wind to the earth’s atmosphere and then interact with the earth’s magnetic field in the polar regions. (Like I understand this.)
All I know is, people were running down the halls at my college one night yelling “Go look!” and, although it interfered with my phone call with Freddy McFee, I did, and said, “Wow!” which is roughly what this gentlemen said who observed the silent shimmering dance in the sky: “To stand under a sky with colors like a rainbow gone wild is to stare directly into the wondrous. It touches your soul.” A photo can’t do it justice.
Highway 11 is your best bet. He can hold you tight while you ooh and aah, and then you can go discharge some of that energy!
NANIBOUJOU [Cree Indian god] IS WHY THE BEAVER’S TAIL IS FLAT
…and a beautiful resort in Grand Marais, MN
Spend that night in Naniboujou Lodge or at least dine by the beautiful and mammoth fireplace and soak up the history. Begun in 1927 as a private club, prestigious charter members included Babe Ruth, the famous New York Yankee, Jack Dempsey, the former heavyweight champion, and Ring Lardner, a New York newspaperman. Apparently open weekends in the winter, but of course check first.
Or return to Bluefin Bay voted “Minnesota’s Favorite Resort Restaurant.” Dinner Menu includes Fresh Lake Superior Bluefin broiled.
IN SUM
There’s something very, um, elemental about facing the elementals together, and being around all those flying magnetic forces. One of the best romantic vacations I’ve ever had. Check out driving conditions here.
P.S. Best of all, bring shades. It’s cold but it’s also bright … and you know how that helps us this time of year.
About the Author
Susan Dunn, San Antonio, TX, USA
sdunn@susandunn.cc
http://www.susandunn.cc
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, The EQ Coach™ . Coaching around EQ for relationships, career, resilience, transitions, personal and professional development. I train and certify EQ Coaches, therapists and managers. Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, including "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence," "Depression," and "How to Develop Your Child's EQ." she is widely published on the Internet, a syndicated columnist for WebProNews and Family-Content, and a regular speaker for cruise lines. (See "How to Get to Present on a Cruise.") She offers home study programs through her distance learning school. For marketing services go here.
Tips from TheRomantic.com
by Michael Webb
WHO IS YOUR SECRET ADMIRER?
Most of us have had a secret admirer at some time in our lives. It was a great ego booster to know someone had a crush on you. While it shouldn't be any secret that you love your spouse, it would be an ego booster for him or her to know that you still have a "crush" on them.
Remember those love notes passed around in class, sometimes sent anonymously? Why not pen a secret admirer note to your wife or husband. As long as it is in your handwriting it won't really be a secret, but I don't think any man or woman would want someone else sending anonymous love notes to their mate. Mail the note to them at work or place it somewhere in the house or car where they are certain to find it.
If you are able to arrange it, have the note direct your sweetheart to meet their "secret admirer" at a particular location and time for a rendezvous. It could be for lunch, a cocktail, a romantic weekend at a nearby hotel, a stroll through the park, or some other meeting place.
Keep the crush alive!
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Tips from TheRomantic.com
by Michael Webb
WHO IS YOUR SECRET ADMIRER?
Most of us have had a secret admirer at some time in our lives. It was a great ego booster to know someone had a crush on you. While it shouldn't be any secret that you love your spouse, it would be an ego booster for him or her to know that you still have a "crush" on them.
Remember those love notes passed around in class, sometimes sent anonymously? Why not pen a secret admirer note to your wife or husband. As long as it is in your handwriting it won't really be a secret, but I don't think any man or woman would want someone else sending anonymous love notes to their mate. Mail the note to them at work or place it somewhere in the house or car where they are certain to find it.
If you are able to arrange it, have the note direct your sweetheart to meet their "secret admirer" at a particular location and time for a rendezvous. It could be for lunch, a cocktail, a romantic weekend at a nearby hotel, a stroll through the park, or some other meeting place.
Keep the crush alive!
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Tips from TheRomantic.com
by Michael Webb
RETURN TO SENDER
Have you ever received flowers from someone? Most of us have. Do you throw them out when they begin to wilt? Most of us do.
Why not consider saving those flowers and returning them to the one who sent them? Sound rude or strange? Actually, it can be quite romantic.
There are a few different ways you can prepare the flowers for their journey back to their giver.
* Take some of the flowers and press them between sheets of wax paper in the pages of a dictionary or other large book. It will take several weeks or months for the flowers to properly flatten and dry, but the results will be worth it. Then you may want to frame the blossoms behind glass, create a card and glue them on the front or iron them between two pieces of laminating paper to be preserved forever.
* The second way to preserve flowers is to remove the blossoms from their stems and dry them to make potpourri. There are several ways to dry whole flowers or just the petals. You can do it with an oven, microwave, silica crystals (found in craft stores) or simply air dry them. You may want to check out a book from the library that would give instructions on drying flowers and perhaps a book that would give some recipes on making potpourri. You can put in whole spices like cinnamon and cloves or dried orange peels for additional fragrance. Many craft stores sell oils that can be added to dried petals for an array of smells.
* A third way of preparing flowers for a return shipment is to make a dried flower arrangement. Again, you may want to consult a book on how to dry flowers. I have had good success with drying whole flowers by hanging them upside down in a dark, dry closet for a couple of weeks. It is important to begin the process before the petals begin to fall off the flowers. Once the flowers are dry, arrange them (or have someone help you if you have no talent in this area) and put them in a vase. You can buy an ordinary vase or search flea markets or antique stores for an old teapot or brass pot to go with your arrangement.
* The fourth way you can return the flowers to their sender is to save all the petals and return them in a crystal bowl or vase. A friend of mine dried the petals from all the roses her boyfriend had given her and they looked strikingly beautiful in a crystal vase.
These gifts are not the same as buying potpourri or a dried flower arrangement from the store down the road. These are gifts that have history and meaning. You received these flowers, adored and cherished them and then took the initiative to preserve them for everlasting enjoyment.
If fresh flowers can enable one to feel the warmth of someone's love, imagine what returned flowers can do.
 Michael Webb is the best-selling author of The Romantic's Guide: Hundreds of Creative Tips for a Lifetime of Love , 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships, The Romantic's Guide to Popping the Question, 1000 Questions for Couples, 300 Creative Dates and 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets. For 1000s more FREE tips, visit TheRomantic.com or sign up for Michael's free Romantic Tip of the Week ezine by sending a blank email to: romantic-on@mail-list.com
Fourteen Romantic "Time-Outs" for Parents
by Susie Cortright
Send Feedback to Susie Cortright
More Details at: http://www.momscape.com
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Expert Tidbit
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Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you pay the small attentions that are so integral to lasting intimacy.
Day One: Spend 15 minutes kissing. Many married couples report that the simple act of kissing is the first part of intimacy to disappear. Today, recapture the power of the smooch.
Day Two: Today, declare a personal moratorium on criticism. Pay attention to the number of negative thoughts you have about the actions of your spouse. How critical are you? How does being critical make you feel? Even when we don't give voice to our criticism, it drains our energy and keeps us focused on negative thoughts.
Day Three: Call, email, or write your mother-in-law (or send a simple bouquet of flowers). Let her know how grateful you are for her child.
Day Four: Spoon.
Day Five: Reflect on your first date with your mate, writing down as many details as you can remember. Now make plans to recreate it.
Day Six: Spend tonight in your guest room. Pretend that you and your spouse are on a romantic vacation in a distant port.
Day Seven: What's your spouse's favorite cookie? Bake a batch.
Day Eight: Tape-record a love message--sexy or sentimental--on a cassette tape. Put it in your spouse's car with a Post-it note that says "Play Me."
Day Nine: Declare today a Forgiveness Day. Are you holding a grudge, however deep, about something your mate has done or said? Get to the bottom of it today. Then work on letting it go.
Day Ten: Assess your listening skills with your spouse. Just for today, slow down and try not to interrupt.
Day Eleven: Write a note and stash it where you know your spouse will find it some time throughout the day. This can be as simple as a lipstick kiss on a folded napkin or as elaborate as an original poem. (For a special touch, fold a Hershey's kiss inside.)
Day Twelve: Leave a sexy voice message on your mate's voicemail.
Day Thirteen: Trying to control your spouse can lead to feelings of resentment and disempowerment. Today, reflect on situations that make you want to control or manipulate. Then work on letting go.
Day Thirteen List all the reasons you love your mate. For 15 minutes, just let your pen move. Don't stop to think too hard about the task. Just write. Then present your list.
Day Fourteen: Ask the kids to write down a few of the things they love about your parenting partner. Encourage them to be as specific as possible. Write them down on slips of paper, put them in an envelope and place it on your spouse's dashboard for a heartwarming surprise.
Now spend some time creating your own 15-minute romantic gifts for one another.
Keywords: Valentine, Valentine's Day, ideas, romance, romantic, couples, kids, parents, help, tips
About the Author
Susie Cortright, Alma, Colorado, USA
susie@momscape.com
http://www.momscape.com
Susie Michelle Cortright is the author of several books for women and founder of the award-winning Momscape.com, a website designed to help busy women find balance. Visit http://www.momscape today and get Susie's course-by-email, "6 Days to Less Stress" free.
| Dating Your Spouse
by Alyice Edrich
Send Feedback to Alyice Edrich
More Details at: http://thedabblingmum.com
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Expert Tidbit
"The very essence of a free government consists in considering offices as public trusts, bestowed for the good of the country, and not for the benefit of an individual or a party." -- John C. Calhoun For more information on putting the good of the country over party squabbles and power, Click here.
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When was the last time you went out on a real “date” with your significant other? And no, a real date doesn’t mean taking the kids to the movies with you and sitting them in the front row, while you sit five rows back to cuddle, eat popcorn, and share a large soda. If your date nights have consisted of squeezing in a little time while the kids play or go off to bed then it’s time to dust off your dancing shoes and find a sitter!
Spending time with your better half can not only save your marriage, but bring it back to life. To add a little spark to the romance department of your marriage, follow these simple steps to a romantic evening the two of you will never forget:
1. Find a sitter. If you can’t afford to hire a sitter because money is too tight, enroll the help of a trusted friend or family member. If you feel guilty, offer to swap sitter duties.
2. Listen to your spouse. What is your better half constantly wishing she could do? Is that something you can turn into an evening of fun?
3. Ask your spouse out on a date. Don’t just tell your loved one that you two are going out without the kids, get romantic and ask her out on a date.
4. Buy a gift. Is there something your loved one has been eyeing but just couldn’t justify buying? Is it in your “cash only” budget? If it is, buy it. If it’s not, find something comparable and unique, then wrap it up in a real elegant box, tie a ribbon around it, and place a bow on the top.
5. Handwrite a love note. Hallmark is famous for offering cards that pull on one’s heartstrings. If you can’t think of something romantic to say on your own, spend a little time in the card section and find the perfect card to say it for you. But don’t just sign your name to the card, adlib by writing a few extra special lines to personalize that card for your spouse.
6. Make reservations. Don’t head out to the local chain restaurant for a meal; you can do that any day. Instead, call ahead and make reservations to some place new. Is there a local resort in the area? How about a private club?
7. Dress elsewhere. Tell your spouse you’ll be back to pick her up, then head on over to your friend’s house to get ready.
8. Surprise your date. When it’s time to pick up your spouse, surprise her by coming to the door with a bouquet of flowers and/or box of chocolates. (Save the gift and card for later.)
9. Don’t talk shop. When you finally make it out of the house, don’t talk about the kids, work, school, finances, health problems, or anything else that could add stress or put a damper on the evening. Talk about fun, no-nonsense things instead.
10. Share a dessert. Order your spouse’s favorite dessert and two forks, and then intertwine those arms and offer a bite to one another.
11. Bring out the finale. If you’re really adventurous, get down on one knee, look your spouse in the eyes, and tell her how much your life together means to you while handing over that beautifully gift-wrapped box. If that’s a bit too mushy for you, just reach across the table, grab your spouse’s hands, tell her how much you love her and then say, “Oh wait, I have something for you.” And pop out that gift.
12. Go dancing. Have you always wanted to try salsa dancing? What about line dancing? Now is the time to try something new, you’ll laugh so hard that it’s the perfect way to end the evening. Can’t find a themed dance studio in your area? That’s okay, just boogie the night away at your local dance club.
Keywords: date husband wife couple spouse
About the Author
Alyice Edrich, Merrill, WI USA
http://thedabblingmum.com
Alyice Edrich is the author of several work from home e-books, and the editor-in-chief of a national publication for BUSY parents. Subscribe to her free e-newsletter at http://thedabblingmum.com/joinezine.htm to win a free book! |
The Dos and Donts Of Dating God's Way
by Annagail Lynes
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More Details at: http://destined.to/visionhopemag
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You have been through the selection process. Now you have found someone you are interested in dating. What is acceptable behavior on a date? What will please God? And what won't?
Paul instructs us in Romans 12:2 (MSG), "Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."
God doesn't want us to act like the world acts on dates. We are His children, and we represent Him, even when we are on a date.
Although your date should be a Born-again Christian already, people will be watching you while you are out together. From the staff at the restaurant to the movie theater attendents, you will be on display. You may be the only glimpse of God they ever see. What do you want that glimpse to look like?
Do you think pawing at each other would be good for your witness? Do you think smoking, drinking and cursing would help it? Or do you think that treating your date with respect would enhance your witness? What about praying before you eat? Not seeing a 'R'-rated movie?
Whether you know it or not, you are being watched at all times. When you go to the store, at school, at your friends. And when people discover you are a Christian, they will judge your behavior against your belief and decide whether they want to know the Jesus you serve.
So what type of things shouldn't you do on a date?
You shouldn't dress inappropriately. No cut-offs. No short skirts and dresses. Nothing that shows off too must of your skin. If you want to attract a whoremonger, by all means, dress like a prostitute. If, however, you want to attract someone godly, you have to dress godly. I am not talking about wearing long skirts and long hair tied up in a bun. But there is a middle ground between these two extremes. If you have any doubt on how to dress, dress as if you were attending a job interview.
Sex shouldn't be an option.
In I Thessalonians 4:3b, the Bible instructs "You should avoid sexual immorality." Sexual immortality is Biblically defined as having sex outside marriage and extra-marital affairs.
God commands us to be pure, to wait until we are married to have sex. Galatians 5:19 says "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immortality, impurity, and debauchery." His reasons are not to preventing you from having fun but to protect you from being hurt physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Sex is to be set aside for marriage because it requires a total emotional commitment from both the husband and the wife. Waiting until you are married, rewards you with true fulfillment, dignity, maturity, and above all, God's blessing.
You also shouldn't put yourself in a situation that will lead to sex. Tell your date upfront that you will not being having sex. If your date ditches you because of it, you are better off. Any kissing should be kept to a minimal.
Always carry enough money for a cab ride home and a phone call with you.
What should you do? Before going on a date, pray. You should make praying a part of your preparation, just like combing your hair. Make your standards clear to your date from the beginning. If you get into a situation that you aren't sure about, pray, ask yourself what Jesus would do, and listen to your inner voice.
Be selective in the books and magazines you read, the television shows and movies you watch, the music you listen to. If you feed your mind with material that exploits sex, you will struggle to stay pure. Until you trust your date, go out in groups.
As corny as it might seem, invite the person you are interested in to church services and youth group activities. Attend school functions, such as dances and sports events. Public places surrounded by lots of people limit your chances of getting into an uncomfortable or ungodly situation.
Let him meet your family. Invite him to dinner and to watch a movie with the family. After talking with him, your parents might foresee problems that you don't see. Also invite him to hang out with you and your friends. Your friends and family can pick up on ascepts of his personality that you might not. It never hurts to have a second, third, even a fifth opinion of a person before getting serious.
Dating as a committed Christian is a lot of work, but knowing that you are pleasing God is worth it all.
Keywords: dating, teens, teen, advice
About the Author
Annagail Lynes, Phoenix AZ United States
visionhopemag@netzero.net
http://destined.to/visionhopemag
Annagail Lynes is editor of VisionHope News. VisionHope News is for young adults and features articles on dating, school, parents, peer pressure and other youth-related issues. For a free issue of VisionHope News, visit http://destined.to/visionhopemag
 Valentine's Day - Dinner Party Ideas
The old saying the way to a mans heart is through his stomach well I think that holds true for women too! For Valentines Day try cooking an intimate dinner for two and see how happy your partner will be. In some cases a group of people for dinner will also be a great way to celebrate Valentines Day. What a great way to shine, showing off your cooking and entertaining skills.
Creating a dinner party for two or ten starts the same way, with a menu. First step is to review the space available for dinner. Is there room for a sit down dinner or would a buffet work better in your home or apartment. Second you want to develop a menu that won't keep you in the kitchen all night but at the table with your partner and friends. Third you want to plan a dessert that will be a grand finale to a fabulous evening or the beginning of a romantic night for two!
So let's start with the space, if you are planning a buffet the key would be to create a meal that does not require cutting with a knife. Items that work real well are rice, grilled shrimp or beef kabobs, salad prepared with bite size pieces of lettuce and pre-dressed, baked rosemary potatoes, purred soups, baked fish, should not be cut but rather flaked with a fork. The choices are endless it all depends upon the pallet of the guest or guests.
Start prepping early in the day so that you have plenty of time to tidy up the place and clean yourself up with out stressing. Keep in mind even if you invited a group of people over your partner will still be looking at you and thinking about how wonderful you are and what time the guests will be leaving. Set the atmosphere as warm and romantic as possible, fund upbeat music and candles work great. Remember its Valentines Day and it should feel that way for your guests or one special guest!
Valentine's Day Menus that are simple to prepare:
Buffet Menu
Grilled Marinated Shrimp or Beef Kabobs
Rice Primavera or Pesto Rice with sliced black olives
Salad, mixed greens dressed with extra virgin olive oil and red wine vinegar
Basket of bread and sesame bread sticks
Choclate Straberry Sweets
Dinner For Six
Broiled pork loin with baked quartered rosemary potatoes
Steamed broccoli with lemon mustard sauce
Bread with extra virgin olive oil for dipping
Fresh Strawberries with whipped cream or cool whip
My Valentine Favorite
Broiled or grilled salmon or tuna with teriyaki marinate
Bok Choy with shredded carrot and sesame seeds
Steamed rice with a drizzle of olive oil or a tab of butter for flavor and to avoid sticking
Vanilla ice cream topped with a fortune cookie (either homemade or purchased)
Come to Dateable.com/simplydelicious to find these great recipes and more! The Valentines' Day menus will be also available by e-mail. Just send a blank e-mail to the gourmet@dateable.com :)
©2001 - Roseanne Cantisani
About the author: Roseanne Cantisani is a freelance writer and editor of dateable.com/simplydelicious, a web site dedicated to simple, healthy cooking. You can find articles, recipes, kitchen and cooking products, and a forum for any cooking or entertaining questions. If you like this article please sign up for the simply delicious newsletter at http://dateable.com/simplydelicious/ or send an email to the gourmet@dateable.com
Cyberdating tips from Dateable.com
7 Things Everyone Should Know About Online Personals
Everybody’s doin’ it. CyberDating is growing increasingly popular with people of all ages. It’s quick, easy and inexpensive. That’s why so many are wearing their heart online. All of the major Web portals, without naming names, are really just big ‘pick-up joints’ for millions of singles across the country.
There are a few tips to remember, however, before taking the plunge into CyberDating:
You can weed out people not considered ideal candidates for a date by their online responses. Ask questions about hobbies, career, education, family relationships, political interests, and other reasonably personal questions.
There’s a lot less pressure. If you decide not to follow-up with somebody, you can always just ignore incoming e-mails. There’s no need to make up some excuse. Just click on delete and move on.
Online personals are much more convenient. At a bar, people are pressed to find somebody within a certain time range, between the hours of 8:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m., for example. I am sure you have seen the "desperate hour" right before closing at a singles type bar. Visitors to online personal sites can browse a wide selection of candidates at their own convenience – in the middle of a Sunday afternoon.
There is a huge selection of singles online. You can scan hundreds of photos and bios in a very short period of time.
It’s easier to custom-tailor your search online. On Dateable.com, for example, we offer have Romantic Writings and other topical sections and forums where people with similar interests can have stimulating conversations from the very beginning.
Ask if the dating service you are thinking about using provides anonymous e-mail, so you don't have to reveal your identity. Setting up a free e-mail account for that purpose can protect your privacy if they do not provide anonymous e-mail.
Internet dating bides you time to find out more about this person. For example, if you're leery of someone you have met, you might want to do a background verification check. If a creditor, the police or a spouse is looking for your potential love interest, why go after this person when he or she is already wanted?
© Dateable.com LLC 2001
Dateable.com is an exciting online community for singles, couples and romance lovers. Dateable.com has romantic resources, advice, poetry, greeting cards, and more. Dateable.com also features specialty matchmaking services. Whether you are looking for a soulmate or a playmate, visit http://dateable.com
This article may be freely published with the bylines. Please notify Dateable.com at articles@dateable.com when you decide to publish.
10 Tips For Frugal Daters 
By Dateable.com
You have found a possible soul mate, but now you are worried of the cost of the whole wooing process because you’re on a thrifty budget. Well, do not fret over it because there are alternative ideas. It is possible to date with little or no cash flow and it can allow you to be creative while having a frugally fun time.
1. Do some star gazing at a local college observatory. It is open to the public during the school year and it’s absolutely free.
2. Feel one with nature. Have a picnic and explore a state or national park (admission is typically under $10 or free).
3. See a music laser show at a planetarium for around $6.00.
4. Check out a poetry reading or other events at a bookstore. Sometimes snacks or beverages are provided.
5. Create a food themes night and cook each other a dinner and appetizer at home.
6. Check out local arts festivals, craft fairs, flea markets or antiques fairs. Admission is typically under $10.
7. Attend a beer or wine tasting. At less than $10 each, you get more buzz for your buck!
8. Swing is back. Take a dance lesson and tear up the dance floor with the hottest moves. Often, the first lesson is free.
9. Attend a student art show. Often the shows are free and refreshments follow.
10. Rent your favorite movies or see an IMAX movie for under $10.
© Dateable.com LLC 2001
Dateable.com is an exciting online community for singles, couples and romance lovers. Dateable.com has romantic resources, advice, poetry, greeting cards, and more. Dateable.com also features specialty matchmaking services. Whether you are looking for a soulmate or a playmate, visit http://dateable.com
This article may be freely published with the bylines. Please notify Dateable.com at articles@dateable.com when you decide to publish.
If you are publishing this article, you must retain all author information at the end of the article.
How to Keep the Relationship Alive Long-Distance
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Written by: Susan Dunn
Web Site: The EQ Coach
Date Submitted: 01/11/2004 |
With today's lifestyle, more couples are having to sustain their relationship with one or the other member of the couple traveling.
Long distance relationships have their pros and cons. It's easier to "keep the romance alive" when you're apart, but it requires a lot of effort and work and you have to be really good at communicating.
1. You must have good communication skills.
Communication skills of the other than in-person type. You'll be talking on the phone and writing a lot!
2. Communicate once a day at least and as much as possible.
If you can't afford phone calls, use email, instant message, even faxes.
3. Get together as often as you can. Regular intervals provide stability and build trust.
Plan the next get-together before you part. It builds trust and continuity in the relationship. Don't leave it up in the air whether you'll be meeting again or not. Set the next date if possible, or have a regular meeting time -- the first weekend of the month, for instance.
4. You must be willing to put extra effort into making it work.
It can be amazingly hard with today's busy lifestyles to make and keep even a phone date. (Mobile phones help a lot.) Travel can lose its charm after a while. Not being able to see each other every day means having to save important things you want to share, and allowing plenty of time for intimate conversation when you do talk or write.
5. If something's bothering you, bring it up right away.
Small concerns can grow into big problems if allowed to fester. It takes some skill to communicate LD but it can be done. Share your concerns, the trials of being apart, the difficulty in travel, etc. Just like you would if you were together -- the concerns might be different, but there would still be some.
6. Talk about small daily things and keep your partner up-to-date.
Since they can't experience it or see it, explain it, talk about it. It's especially important to share your lives this way -- what you're doing, where you ate lunch, the friends you're seeing, what you're doing at work. Email good articles you've read, share websites, books. Takes quizzes on line and share results. This brings immediacy to the relationship.
7. Suspicion and jealousy can become self-fulfilling prophecies, and if you're prone to this, an LD affair is not for you.
Assume and trust until given direct proof not to.
8. Meet in different places.
Since you're traveling anyway, you might as well add this to the mix. It can save you both time and money to meet somewhere in between. Trade off meeting at their place or yours. In that way, you'll get to know more about each other's lives.
9. Build toward the future and be optimistic.
Talk about when you'll be shortening the distance—make sure you both have the same goals in that respect. Strong relationships always build to the future. Some people choose long distance relationships because they permanently like "distance," but they can work out, and we all know examples where they did!
10. Everbody likes surprises, especially when you're far from home. Little reminders that you care mean a lot.
With the Internet, it's easy to send gifts. Snail mail cards, send e-cards, mail a book, flowers, candles. Keep your presence in front of the other person, and let them feel that you're thinking of them in as many ways as you can.
Valentine’s Day is a touchy subject with me. It is not that my husband forgets to honor our love on that day. In fact, he is better at remembering Valentine’s Day than he is at remembering our anniversary. Perhaps I should consider making our anniversary a National Hallmark holiday with lots of billboards and other advertising to help the poor guy recall the day we became husband and wife. No matter. We have Cupid’s celebration for which he can ramp up his adoration for me.
The reason for my apprehension about mid-February’s day of romance is quite simple: plants. It was a linguistic misunderstanding, a cross-cultural faux pas that has stuck in my mind for over a decade. You see, my husband is German, and in the beginning of our relationship, my German wasn’t that great.
As February 14th neared that first year of our courtship, I suggested to my then boyfriend that Americans celebrate the holiday with flowers. It would be useful if he would remember that. I really thought I had gotten through to him. Without belabouring the point, I would occasionally point out the red hearts and bow and arrow decorations that ornately hung in the shop windows. I would then reiterate my love for flowers and how special a woman feels when she receives them.
Had I been a bit more vigilant in my undertaking, the holiday wouldn’t have turned out as it did. The German word Blumen means both flowers and plants. As I continually mentioned my interest in Blumen, my husband, a biologist by trade, had nodded with great understanding. After many other language barriers had been crossed, it seemed as if I were finally talking his lingo. As Valentine’s Day arrived, my excited boyfriend presented me with a spider plant wrapped in light green cellophane. You know which kind of plant I mean: the unkillable kind that has lots of babies, the kind that would even survive while you’re away on your six-week African safari.
In that moment, I couldn’t help but show my disappointment.
"Flowers! I meant flowers!" I said in English to him in a rather unkind, obnoxious manner. For a moment, it appeared as if he were going to snatch the plant away from me. I peered down at the lovely wrapping job that he had so painstakingly done and smiled.
"But I suppose plants last longer, huh?" I placed the plant on our sunny windowsill.
I chose to look at our first Valentine’s Day this way: he thinks our love will result in an unshakeable marriage with lots of kids. After all, isn’t that what a spider plant symbolizes?
We now have two children, and we have been married ten years. While our spider plant did not survive our multiple moves, the lesson that it brought us has remained. Perhaps my husband knew what I meant all along, and he chose a different path for our love, one which lasts for more than just one day in February.
Christine Louise Hohlbaum, American author of Diary of a Mother: Parenting Stories and Other Stuff, lives near Munich, Germany, with her husband and two children. When she isn’t writing, leading toddler playgroups or wiping up messes, she prefers to frolick with her family in the Bavarian countryside. Visit her Web site: www.diaryofamother.com.
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